Already? Yes. Its lame.
To be honest, its hard to be here right now. i guess it makes sense that your emotional condition would rebel against you when you take its carrier out of its secure state into something totally foreign. So it seems like something i should have seen coming- but it still has struck me like a gale force gust to my unbalanced feet.
It feels like i left everyone and everything as if i'd see them again in a week, totally nieve to the longing I'd feel once here. And its only been about 4 days. My solace is this: the intensity will pass.
Yesterday I helped build some homes. It was frustrating because the Filipino way of construction is very different than ours. Much of my day was spent following along in exersizes of moving concrete or sand or dirt in ways that one person with a Canadian work habit and proper tools could have done in the time that it took five to do in this case. Broken buckets and make-shift wheelbarrows and shovels that were breaking or too short for the Job. A Cement mixer sat nearby but its tires were flat and i guess it was more work to find an air compressor and move the machine than it was to mix the cement by hand on the ground. It was a culturally frustrating experience in many ways. It made me miss my dad's shop with its dozen functioning shovels, an electric-powered cement mixer near by and a power saw that would have chopped through the stump in minutes, that was hacked away at by hatchet for hours.
I don't want shake your world view, but perhaps you can see why mine is being shaken and of a sudden i'm realizing I liked my Canadian Paradigm better. The Canadian missionary today put it in these words, "We will never, no matter how hard we try, be Filipino"
It's been a hard start, But give it time and I'm sure I will learn something, hard as it is to say. I have been loving life in Canada but now I have hit a conflict, and if we know anything about good stories (thanks for pointing this out warpon) its that there has to be conflict and it always leads somewhere.
This is Tuesday, Feb 2 from Manila.
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Faith, Identity, and Life Beyond Statelines.
Canadiano!
The problem with assuming a title for a blog is that it wants to reflect the blogs content. Unlike a book, which already has content before a title is likely to be chosen, a blog's title can only guess at what content might transpire. The over-arching theme is that this is a travel blog- whatever that means. Will it be more? Will it be less? Time will tell and untill then, the title remains as ambiguous as its content is yet mysterious.
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3 comments:
Hello from Elizabeth and Katrina!!!! Just so you know, we went through a whole mess of crap just to be able to comment on your blogs :P. (We hacked into katrina's work google account in order to post lol.) Anyway, I'm sure you'll be so busy that the time will fly by and it will feel like only a week when you do come back. Especially from the sound of the frustrating conditions! Never even thought about the difference in equipment! Anyway, we look forward to reading more about your experiences :D. (Miss you)
Hey Michael! It's Jade :D Homesickness SUCKS but you're right, it will get better. Your description of house building is reminiscent of Mexico...guess patience is a virtue for a reason! Take care of yourself, you've got a million prayers behind you (at least!) so I'm not worried. Love ya!
For what it's worth, home misses you too.
Stay safe, love those nearby, and remember that you've got lots of support from us folks back here.
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